No, I'm not talking about the game. I'm talking about all the hoopla and crap before the game last night. It all started with the NHL Face-off from Dundas Square in Toronto. What better way to get fans excited for the upcoming hockey season than by filling a Toronto City block with 5,000 screaming teenage girls as they skriekingly sing along with a bunch of 30 year old wanna be musicians with ironic tattoos and gauged ear lobes. Now I don't have NHL fan demographic stats at the ready, but I'd imagine that girls aged 13-17 and their tastes aren't a good indication of what the average hockey fan is or likes. Remember last year's opening game which was preceded by the 48th Highlanders Bagpipers? That was awesome. This year? Something called Hey Rosetta! Unacceptable.

Remember back in July when Leafspace Monika and here lackeys went on that Cross-Canada road trip and everyone was all "What the fuck is this shit? Why is MLSE paying these people to drive across Canada?" Well it turns out there was a hidden motive behind this trip; to collect jars of water from every major body of water encountered on the trip so they could make a two minute montage of a girl dipping said jars into said bodies of water and they have that girl ceremoniously dump a glass of Toronto City tap water at center ice. I was deeply moved by the symbolism there. Seriously I got up to get a drink because all the water was making me thirsty. What moron came up with that idea?

Just when you thought things couldn't get anymore ridiculous, then they hit the rink with the decorative lighting and made it look like a pond complete with a dock. Johnny Bower, goalie stick in hand, then walked out onto the "dock" as the "pond" quickly froze with more cracks in it than Carey Price's game. Very unsafe. Get it. Hockey can be played on ponds*. (*Statement not valid after 2038 once global warming has eliminated winter as a season.) It was the cheesiest thing I'd seen to open up a hockey game since Ottawa's 300 lovefest.

Last year's entrance music? Beautiful People by Marilyn Manson. FUCK YEAH! This year? Enter Sandman by Metallica. Cliché and misleading. Will this team put me to sleep with boring play? Also, lol at Jeff Finger, Brett Lebda, Matt Lashoff, and John Mitchell getting introductions from the press box.

Whomever at MLSE is in charge of this stuff should be fired. It was pathetic and embarrassing. Your thoughts?

"I'm not dead yet."

Pat Burns at the groundbreaking ceremony for a rink in his name.

Number 26, Mike Zigomanis

Cox Bloc is getting Ziggy with it.

Don we now our gay apparel

That's right, it's a blog dedicated to Don Cherry's weekly attire. Awesome.

Leafs undefeated

Shit yeah!

The last dozen second of last night's game

So this is what happens when you have quality goaltending in a close game.

Furthering that along; What a difference no Toskala makes

Worst goalie ever.

Some thoughts on last night's game

Ease up on the Phil praise. Kessel's good, but he's not the best ever for the Leafs.

2011 NHL Awards predictions

The spelled Kadri wrong in the Calder section

Don Cherry not a fan of how Kadri was handled

Didn't like Burke and Wilson putting him down.

Keys to the Leafs making the playoffs

Oddly, this doesn't include Ricoh locker room keys for Jeff Finger.

Leafs win and Peddie loves Burke

Do you think Burke loves him back?