I had once a pain in my chest, over here (indicates the approximate spot).

It was too high to be a burst appendix that needed removing (Wozniewski). I didn't have exploding bones (Carlo). I wasn't being knifed with a red hot poker (Mats). And it wasn't a slow, crushing letdown of a doomed love affair, drawn out over far too long a period of time (McCabe).

Turns out I just had heartburn. Cost me $25 to have the medic tell me that.

PPP Update: