Monday FTB: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!

Okay WAY too much happened yesterday and it’s a holiday weekend that’s hotter than hell. So your FTB today is rapid fire.

1. Chemmy
2. JOHN TAVARES IS A LEAF!!!!! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
3. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
4. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
5. BACK TO EXCITED ABOUT TAVARES AHHHHHHHH
6. CONTRACT DETAILS ABOUT JOHN TAVARES BEING A LEAF!!! AHHHHHHHH!!!
7. The Leafs also signed Josh Jooris.
8. And a bunch of depth players for the Marlies, including a guy named Subban.
9. They’re also linked to UFA defenseman Calvin de Haan.
10. All of this means some changes, like JVR re-signing with the Flyers (since he signed his previous contract as a Flyer too). I might make the Flyers my second team and I never thought I would say that about a Philadelphia team. But Giroux, Couturier, Konecny, Voracek, Patrick, JVR, Simmonds, Ghost Bear, and Provorov are just stupid fun.
11. Leo Komarov signed with the New York Islanders.
12. Tyler Bozak signed with the St Louis Blues.
13. Polak went to Dallas and Plekanec went back to Montreal.

That’s it for the Leafs-related content. Let’s hit the rest of the ridiculousness around the NHL yesterday. Seriously, for once the NHL Free Agency period wound up delivering on its promise, though not entirely due to actual free agent signings.

• Let’s start with the most ridiculous: the mega drama that is Johnson signing with the Penguins, and the massive spat between Johnson and Rutherford, and his former team the Blue Jackets. It features some classic Tortarella rants and F-bombs.
• Ryan O’Reilly was traded by the Sabres to St Louis for a couple of picks, a prospect, and a couple of useful NHLers. A move that sends him out of the division, NOT to Montreal (LOL!) and out of the conference is a-okay in my books.
• The Vancouver Canucks spent a lot of money and gave a lot of term to some depth players to help their rebuilding team... not... compete? ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
• After making some trades to clear cap space, the Winnipeg Jets hilariously lost out on re-signing Paul Stastny — who chose instead to sign with the Vegas Golden Knights.
• Drew Doughty signed an 8 year extension with the LA Kings.
• Cam Ward signed with the Chicago Blackhawks, which has convinced me that he will find a job and a contract with an NHL until the earth is dust floating through space./

WHO CARES ABOUT THE REST THE LEAFS SIGNED JOHN TAVARES AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!

BUDS.

ALL.

DAY.

Just look at these potential lines