Yesterday, Sportsnet published an article about the Canucks’ use of personalized goal songs. On top of conveniently providing me with yet another metric through which to judge every Canuck, and a stellar quote from Max Pacioretty—“But, y’know, hockey is the old man sport”—it prompts the very real and important question of what individual Maple Leafs would choose as their goal songs. The only one I’m sure of is Auston Matthews, because duh, but I opened the question up to some of my fellow writers and got the following answers:

Roman Polak: Final Fantasy VI: Spinach Rag

Morgan Rielly: “Hideaway” by Kiesza (we all know how much he likes to dance to it)

Matt Martin: “A sad tuba, to shame the other team further”

Nazem Kadri: “A sound file of a ref disallowing a goal for goaltender interference”

Jake Gardiner: The Curb Your Enthusiasm theme song

Zach Hyman: “Nothing’s Gonna Stop Us Now” by Starship

Mitch Marner: “Starlett Johansson” by The Teenagers

William Nylander: “Sexy and I Know It” by LMFAO

If you have any suggestions, please include them in the comments. This is an important debate to have, and a nice break in between angry ranting about whatever the hell happened on the ice last night.

ICYMI

Toronto Maple Leafs recap: Leafs lose 6 - 3 to the Carolina Hurricanes - Pension Plan Puppets
Apparently having talented defense behind your speed is a good thing.

Toronto Maple Leafs history: Buying Ed Gorman from Ottawa - Pension Plan Puppets
Today we’ll go all the way back to 1927.

Team Canada Olympic Roster: Former Maple Leafs get a chance - Pension Plan Puppets
These players have already worn one Maple Leaf, now it’s time for the other.

Stuff We Didn’t Write

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Hurts so good: Red Wings fan using hatred of Maple Leafs to raise money for charity - NHL on CBC Sports - Hockey news, opinion, scores, stats, standings
Kyle Krische is combining two of the things he hates most in the world — the Toronto Maple Leafs and physical exercise — to raise money for charity.

From The Branches