The regular season is officially over as of last night, with a 4-2 loss to the Winnipeg Jets. However, no one got pulverized, which is in and of itself a win at this point.

I also fully accepted Mitch Marner’s mullet into my heart. That is a thing that exists.

With the playoffs starting on Thursday, this means we’re in for a week of boredom and/or anxiety (let’s be realistic—it’ll be “and”) which is the perfect opportunity to fill time with discussion questions, like a substitute teacher who doesn’t know the curriculum. For instance, as spotted in the comments of yesterday’s game preview: how long should a NHL season actually be?

Is 56 games enough? Did anyone miss the full 82 games? I did not. I did not miss that weird lull that happens every February where the season simultaneously feels like it’s gone on forever and will go on forever, thereby robbing each individual game of any meaning. Considering that the NHL playoffs actually are eternal (scientific fact), should the regular season be shorter? Would anyone care if it was? We’re all in this for the postseason anyway, now that the Leafs can, you know, make the playoffs. Let’s argue about that today.

Oh, and also read this article about how Eugene Melynk’s girlfriend is suing a boat captain for “false imprisonment” on a superyacht in the Bahamas. It’s, uh, something.

ICYMI

Recap: Maple Leafs drop last game of the season 4-2 to the Jets - Pension Plan Puppets
A bland an uninteresting game before we get to the good stuff

Maple Leafs regular season report card - Pension Plan Puppets
The Leafs are about to finish a great regular season, so how do they rate individually?

Stuff We Didn’t Write

Mailbag: Who will be the Leafs' unsung hero in the playoffs? Who's returning to the roster next season? | The Star
And who should the Leafs start in net?

NHL expects 'fantastic' Stanley Cup Playoffs
Normal? No, the 2021 Stanley Cup Playoffs will not be normal. Not quite.

A Full Guide to the 2021 NHL Playoffs - The New York Times
The playoffs open on Saturday with Game 1 between the Capitals and Bruins, one of the eight first-round matchups. Things look a little different this year.

Ducharme must own playoff decisions in audition for security as coach
This opening-round playoff series against the Toronto Maple Leafs will be pressure unlike anything Dominique Ducharme has faced before, and how he handles it will determine the immediate future of his career.

Rangers Hire Mike Grier As Adviser to Hockey Operations - Blueshirt Banter
Yesterday the New York Post reported that Brian Leetch resigned from his role in Hockey Operations as an adviser, and Chris Drury has filled that vacancy with Mike Grier.

Ottawa Senators owner took Caribbean superyacht vacation during pandemic — and it went horribly, lawsuits say - CBC News
Eugene Melnyk and his girlfriend wanted a relaxing, luxury Christmas cruise in the Caribbean with family and friends. Instead, the owner of the Ottawa Senators and his holiday group got repeatedly seasick and feared for their lives, according to two lawsuits.

Report: Penguins ‘hopeful’ to fill Arena to 100% capacity during first round playoff series - PensBurgh
Penguins CEO David Morehouse spoke about the topic on the Pomp and Poni Podcast.

Kirill the thrill: Russian rookie Kaprizov big boost to Wild | The Star
Wary of all kinds of pressure on Kirill Kaprizov and resolute in their team-first culture, the Minnesota Wild tried to keep a lid on the fanfare enveloping his arrival in the NHL.

PWHPA forging ahead without NHL backing of women’s hockey | The Star
The Professional Women’s Hockey Players’ Association is forging ahead with its bid to establish an economically sustainable professional league in North America with or — for now — without the NHL’s full financial backing.

Habsent Minded 3.64: Who will Montreal expose in the expansion draft? - Eyes On The Prize
With the regular season done, and a few days until the playoffs begin, Habsent Minded looks at the off-season.

From The Branches