I’m so tired.

The Maple Leafs California road trip began with a bang as the Leafs took down the Kings 5-1, but my frail east coast body isn’t built to handle 10PM games.

I’ve come up with these helpful tips to help us get through slog of a week.

1) Exercise

If you’re having trouble staying up, get your body moving. Use commercial breaks and intermissions to exercise and wake yourself up. It’s both healthy and useful.

2) Sleep all day

If you’re not working, make the day your night this week. Sleep during the day, and wake up in time to watch the Leafs game. It will be a tough transition back to 7PM games but your Leafs are worth it, aren’t they?

3) Drugs!

No, not illegal ones. We here at PPP Kitten Ranching, Senators bot making, and basement renovations LLC are responsible adults. I’m talking about legal ones like daytime cold medication or good old caffeine

4) Will power

Force yourself to stay up. Mind over matter. Are you going to let some sack of meat be the boss of you? Hell no. Your body does what you tell it, not the other way around

5) Live out west

I’m kidding, don’t do that.

6) Game in six

Or, if you’re old like me, go to bed and watch the game in six.

Here is your news.

Maple Leafs show Kings true power in 5-1 win in California - Pension Plan Puppets
Knowing their fans would fall asleep by 11pm, the Leafs got all their business done within 10 minutes.

Mike Babcock Post Game, Leafs 5 vs. Kings 1: “We wanted to play fast here tonight… I thought we did that” - MLHS

Hockey Night in Canada is no longer special - Arctic Ice Hockey
There was a time when Saturday night games felt special. This is no longer the case.

Knights Nuggets: The Golden Knights officially have a sled hockey team - Knights On Ice
Start off your morning by reading up on some news and notes.

What should the Colorado Avalanche offer for William Nylander? - Mile High Hockey
With trade rumors swirling, the Avalanche should make a strong offer for Toronto’s William Nylander

Tuukka Rask rejoins the Bruins, offers insight on absence - Stanley Cup of Chowder
He's back!

Arizona Coyotes Extend Jokob Chychrun - LWoS

Willie O’Ree, inducted into Hockey Hall of Fame, says his diversity ‘work is not done’ - Colour of Hockey

And now, the contract termination section!

Dennis Everberg placed on unconditional waivers - Arctic Ice Hockey
The Winnipeg Jets are looking to part ways with the Swedish forward.

Michael Lindqvist on unconditional waivers - Blueshirt Banter
And then there were two guys with alarmingly similar surnames

Blackhawks prospect Ivan Nalimov, Kunlun Red Star mutually terminate contract, per report - Second City Hockey
The 24-year-old found it difficult to live in China, his agent, Shumi Babaev, told The Athletic.

Enjoy your day!

From The Branches