The Liquidators

You know who I don't trust? Apart from the French and circus folk, obviously. Linesmen. Like a dentist, a linesman is inherently bogus. Hither and tither they skate, looking for their violations involving the centre and blue lines – using such arcane language as 'icing' or 'offside'.

Biggest moment in the game for a linesman? The ‘the too many players on the ice’ penalty. I mean, come on. If that’s the highlight of your day, it’s time to find a new career, (I’m fortunate in that I have such a rewarding role in life – cleaning out the litter bins in my local KFC).

Anyway, here’s the plan. Given a nice new stripy jumper and a couple of weeks of skating lessons – I reckon I could kidnap a current NHL linesman and take his place on the ice without anyone noticing the difference. Target game is the final showdown on the season against ottawa. Look out for the fella trying to give Stajan a big cuddle even though he isn’t involved in a fight. The revolution in officiating starts here!

• Kicking off with Toronto Sports Media and reports that Sean McCormick is vewwy, vewwy sowwy.
• T.O Sports and a review of the Marlies game on Saturday. They won yesterday too, don't cha know.
• Maple Leaf Hot Stove brings you part 1 of the deadline review - taking a look at the winners.
• Every/Some/No-bodies favourite recent ex-Leaf Darcy Tucker turned 34 yesterday and Wrap Around Curl has his birthday wish. And no, he can't come back.
• Fun for all the family with Fear The Fin - play Guess The Sound Byte! Featuring our very own Ronnie Mc-Awesome!
• UPDATE : We're going birthday crazy here at PPP today, raise a glass and put your pants back on with Loser Domi and Jiří Tlustý.