If you don't have a Twitter account, then you're a parasitic troglodyte and you really need one. It also means that you missed out on the NHLSexActs hashtag from yesterday. It started with Archi asking what you call it when a smoking hot girl has two butt ugly older sisters. Some suggestions were Cinderella, Third Time's the Charm, Marge Simpson, Gretzky, Fresh Pea in a Rotten Pod, the Baldwin, Bizzarro Meatloaf, and the Gretzky. Then the discussion shifted to the fact that Wayne was the oldest, so it didn't work. Therefore I suggested the Reverse Gretzky, but PPP informed me that that was in fact a sexual position.
From there I believe it was archluke who gave us the first use of the #NHLSexActs hashtag:
The Derek Roy: Go down even though she did nothing to warrant it.
And from there it snowballed into awesomeness. Here are some of my favorites:
The Marian Hossa: You keep whoring yourself out and wonder why you never get a ring.
The Patrick Roy: Perform terribly; don't pull out; throw up your arms in mock celebration; then accuse her of humiliating you.
The Vancouver Canucks Fan: Tell the Leaf fan how great you are despite being a virgin that's just overcompensating.
The Pierre McGuire: She compensates for being useless by making loud noises and calling you a monster.
The Lanny McDonald: Mustache rides are not optional.
The Senators fan: Something boring, in a motel outside of town.
and finally
Montreal'n it: Rigorous public masturbation accompanied by an "Ole" chant.
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