Toronto, ON - Leading Canadian geologist Dr. Gord "Brick" Hardface confirms that based on his simulations of plate tectonics the "Luke Schenn" plate should arrive in Canada sometime in 3013.
Far from being the obvious butt of "too slow to keep up with hockey jokes" Dr. Hardface insists that the Luke Schenn plate is the fastest moving tectonic entity ever observed and will cause widespread panic and destruction as it cruises through America's midwest.
"Typically we'd expect a move like this to take billions of years" said Dr. Hardface, "I don't understand how it's so fast."
Hockey fans are especially confused as the fast moving plate shares a name with the lead footed Flyers player.