Ian White's Mustache Welcomes You to the Phollicle Phriendly Philthy Phil's Place!

Ian White's Mustache wants to have pizza with Phil Kessel! (via corruptcamel.com)

You may be asking yourself; "What does a mustache know about hockey?" Well, let's look at exhibit A. No, does nothing for ya? How about exhibit B? Still nothing!? Alright, let's take off the gloves. WAM!!!1 BAM!!!!1 Ya, that's what I thought...

Now I'm not saying that I'm the reason for Ian White's turnaround last season but...aw, who are we kidding? Have you seen him so far this pre-season? Ya, me neither. He knows my number.

I wanna welcome Phil Kessel to the Leafs. His upper lip has loads of potential for hair growth, and that's a good thing. People keep talking smack about how "soft" Phil is. Well, I'm here to tell ya, all he needs is a little time. Once those follicles get to growing, he'll be a tough SOB. And I know thing or two about tough SOB's...

Well, that's pretty sweet.  All you folks worried about Kessel's hit totals probably feel pretty silly now, don't ya?

We're wrapping up Philthy Phil's Place for the week, and what an inaugural week it was.  Special guests abounded, and we saved the best for last.  There's nowhere to go but down...

• Although we may have beaten this topic to death already, BoO's Muppet is wondering if Kadri should get a whiff of 9 NHL games.
• The Truculeafs are not the biggest fans of Wayne Gretzky, coach.
• It's been a week since the Phil Kessel signing, so we can safely assume the honeymoon is over.  Man, I can't wait to see what folks say when he plays a game for the Leafs.
  MLHS has a two-fer, asking more questions on Kadrii and the Sexcopters (I've no idea who "the Frat Boys" are...)
• Suite 101 has 5 Leafs stories to watch this season, and wouldn't you know it?  Kessel and Kadri are two of them!
• Everything Leafs is talking chemistry and it got me wondering, is Schenn a base, or an acid?
• Did I just say the honeymoon is over...?  I stand corrected.  Kessel is just one of the many great moves Burke has made to make the Leafs a competitive team now./

Update

• White's duster comes second best and that's coming from the man himself.
• Players are on the bubble and it's popping despite the lack of Wellwood./