The Toronto Raptors, who are due to start playing soon, have a problem. They want to play in Canada, and for some reason the NBA thinks they might not be able to. The answer to this is so obvious, I can’t figure out why they haven’t thought of it. Just play in an all-Canadian division like the NHL seems to be planning.

Get the Raptors and all the other Canadian teams and bubble up somewhere fun like Saskatoon, home of the Schenn brothers. Or maybe that excellent TV market Sudbury/Thunder Bay. The possibilities are endless, and really it’s obvious. The only question left is how would the Raptors do in a all-Canadian division? Last? First? Who knows, but it avoids having them go to Tampa and deciding they like it there.

What if they all start living on boats and enjoying the Florida lifestyle? What if they forget about Toronto and when the time comes they won’t come back? Sure, they’ll come to a meeting, but will they sign the contract? Nope. And then what would we do? Get a basketball team from Long Island or something?

No, keep the Raptors in Toronto. It’s the safer play.

Things we wrote

The Hater’s Guide To The NHL’s Reverse Retro Jerseys - Pension Plan Puppets
It’s November. Let’s get mad!

Top 10 Most Annoying Ranked Lists and 1 That’s Fun - Pension Plan Puppets
I rank the rankers, and find them all rank.

Other News

It’s about the right time of November that in a regular hockey season I would bust out the old “LOLOILERS” because management did something hilariously dumb, or the team torpedoed their season by losing 9-1 to the last place team in the league, which would be their seventh loss in a row. Of course, we don’t have actual NHL hockey right now, so none of that can happen. Fortunately, [Jeff Goldblum voice] the Oilers... find a way.

LOLOILERS!

Hey, remember when Gary Bettman said income didn’t matter?

From The Branches