PPP, in our Jimmy Olsen and Lois Lane guises have sneakily obtained the text of the Griddy memo sent to the Canucks and the Red Wings:

You have to play right. Up right. Stick up your butt right. Calm, cool, professional, like it's 1965 and everyone is wearing a fedora to the game. This is the NHL. None of that display of emotion. If you want to be emotional, pop a guy in the mouth while a few feet from the net. After the whistle is fine, but don't skate over to him, you gotta get the guy who is right there. Barring that, open ice head hits are cool too.

The Griddy Memo was first reported here:

The NHL has sent these letters to teams... wait. Hold on. I'm not actually a reporter, and nor is Daily Hockey Doze, sorry, uh Dose.

The article, that they likely have metrics to prove very few people click on via Tweets like this, actually just repeats something Elliotte Friedman said on a podcast. Or is said to have said. I don't remember that coming up, and I'm not listening to an hour on Morgan Rielly and everyone's feelings all over again to find it.

That's good enough for me because I know who Prashanth is, and he doesn't have "dose" in his username. There has been no warning, and Friedman was talking about cooling off two teams not about banning an NFL thing that was cool four years ago.

What have we learned? Not one damn thing. No one ever learns that "it's in a Tweet so it must be true" is a fallacy. It's how bullshit gets spread, and bullshit is what the crowd that crowds around stuff like this actually want. The smell attracts, it does not repel. This is how a misogynistic sex fantasy became so truthy thousands of people still think it's factual. This is also how some dude slipped off his stool long enough to Tweet that Jake Allen had been traded, and enough people bit that the Canadiens and Allen's agent had to call up all the actual reporters to get the news out there that there was no news.

How many "no that didn't happen" messages, factchecks and community notes do we need?

Bloggers aren't journalists. Some guy getting the engagement metrics up on Twitter does not have facts, he just has spin on something someone else said. Independent media is code for we have no money and no editorial oversight, not for we know stuff no one else does. This is a timely lesson that won't be learned in time for the trade deadline.

This rant has been brought to you by the sheer number of times I've had to listen claims facts are lies because they are unpalatable. The NHL banning the Griddy? Nothing confirms the priors as well as a story like this. And if it confirms the priors, you should believe it – no wait...

In actual news:

Jake Guentzel is a pending UFA who sits high up on trade bait boards, and the "he could totally be traded still" is already thick on the ground. He could, but I think Kyle Dubas plans on making the playoffs. I'm sure he's thrilled the Leafs couldn't beat the Flyers in regulation.

This guy is excellent, and no, the Leafs aren't getting him.

On the broadcast last night, Dreger said taking one game off is likely the best case scenario. But this is very rapid timing from Bettman on this.

And in fun news, the PWHL game at Scotiabank Arena is tonight. A new record should be set, it should be loud, and if the gods are smiling, the home team will win.

Preview for that game will be up later.

This saga of the CHL supposedly making a deal with the NCAA seems to be made up! Someone talked about it and it turned into a thing everyone thought was real! It was in a Tweet, you see...

And that's all for Friday. Remember reality is a matter of opinion. No, wait, I'm sure that's not right...

From The Branches