This morning the Star ran a piece of garbage so crapulent that it makes their normal blend of humorless drivel and inflammatory nonsense look reasonable:

"They’re such a garbage organization. They don’t deserve to make the playoffs," said D’Aloisio, who was born and raised in Etobicoke. "I see them as a joke. You have to be over 50 to remember when the Leafs won a Cup. I’m surprised the city is not up in arms."

Who would be "up in arms" because their sports team hasn't won the Championship?

Daniel D’Aloisio is a lifelong Torontonian but he cheers for the Montreal Canadiens

Oh.

Phillip Spackman has been a Detroit Red Wings fan all his 29 years, even though he grew up in Caledon, just north of Toronto.

I hope little kids on the playground beat up our meat headed friend Mr. Spackman. The Red Wings of the 80s were hot garbage. Of course that doesn't matter when you're a bandwagon fan. They all claim to have been fans of their team since birth which makes perfect sense.

What a misplaced sense of superiority. "I picked the best team in the league to cheer for. I'm a smart person and I'm smarter than you because the team I chose for being awesome is better than your team. You're stupid."

Just go away, nobody gives a shit what you think about hockey. People roll their eyes at you when you start talking about the Red Wings. I promise.

"It’s easy to make fun of the Leafs," Spackman said. Like anyone born after 1967, he’s never seen the Leafs win a Stanley Cup. Spackman welcomes Toronto’s absence from the playoffs if it means more Detroit fans.

Have you ever noticed that while watching football with a group of people there's always at least one guy who's a Steelers fan despite never having been to the state of Pennsylvania? Have you ever traveled abroad and there's some idiot wearing a New York Yankees hat despite being from Kansas?

Where do these people come from? Why do these people insist on telling us how good "their" teams are?

How does Henry Kisiel feel about the Leafs?

"I hope their plane crashes tonight. Does that sum it up?" Kisiel said

Kisiel has been living in Toronto for 16 years but his allegiance lies with his hometown team, the Canadiens.

At least Mr. Kisiel here is from Montreal and continues to root for his team. Not sure why an ex-pat, essentially, is being interviewed for an article on why people from Toronto laugh at the Leafs but trying to figure out the Toronto Star's motivation beyond "durrrr Leafs bad" is as frustrating an exercise as finding out Jacques Demers is your new pen pal.

"I’ll probably buy all the Leafs fans at the bar skunk beer," Kisiel said. "I’m happy they’re not going to make the playoffs. I’m not surprised, though."

Congrats on patronizing a bar that keeps rancid products on hand. This doesn't make any sense.

PPP on Twitter has it right: stop reading this nonsense at their webpage. I know we're linking it here to do this piece because even though the MSM tells us "tough shit" when they steal our work we'll continue to properly attribute theirs.

Consider these NNNs a record; a snapshot in time. A time will come when the Leafs are back in the playoffs and I'm hoping we hear the opinions of the people named in these quotes again when they're wearing Kadri jerseys and pretending to have been real fans all along.