Ever wonder what a coach's post-game rant looks like? Well, Ron Wilson wouldn't oblige the media by going into the room all irate after a loss like this and emulating Alex Ferguson with the nearest hair care tool. Luckily, Randy Carlyle is a different coach. A transcript after the jump.

Carlyle: EVERYBODY INTO THE SHOWER! ANY BODY NOT IN THIS SHOWER IN 10 SECONDS IS GOING TO GET FINED $100!

You guys, you lollygag with the puck behind the net. You lollygag and flip the puck into the neutral zone. You lollygag off of the ice for a change. Do you know what that makes you?! Farrish?

Farrish: Lollygaggers.

Carlyle: Lollygaggers. What's our record Farrish?

Farrish: 32-33-8

Carlyle: How'd we ever win 32?

Farrish: It's a miracle.

Carlyle: It's a miracle. This is a simple game. You pass the puck, you shoot the puck, you stop the puck. YOU GOT IT?! Now we have got nine games left starting tomorrow. And don't you think about disappointing your fans by winning any of them.

Bus leaves six in the morning. *Storms off cursing Burke*

Serious programming note: We did this once before but I suggest we pass the time by telling each other the best jokes we know that do not involve the Maple Leafs organization.

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